I really do not understand how I can go to bed at a decent hour and toss and turn for another hour, wake up at 3, 5, and 7 and still be able to function as a human being. Strike that; barely function as a human being. I'm half retarded (par-tarded if you will) and I feel like my brain has holes in it. I've stared at 3 people that were talking to me with the realization that I have no idea what kind of language is coming out of their mouths, it's all Greek to me. I hate feeling like this; it stresses me out and makes me feel like an idiot. I cannot tell you the amount of times I have wanted to smack someone across the face because they look at me with a blank stare when I am trying to explain simple concepts to them, like I was speaking, well, Greek.
Couple this feeling with the fact that every single attorney has so far within the last 2 hours managed to piss me off for one reason or another. Really, how hard is it to actually have something done on time?? I've only been berating you about it for 2 weeks and all of a sudden you just remembered it has to get done??? AHHHH!!! The attorneys in this law firm procrastinate worse than any teenager or child.
Because my brain is unable to concentrate on anything this post is going to be so random... It is so nice outside that I really don't feel like doing anything today. I love it when it's sunny outside; it makes me want to lay in a grass field and take a nap. The air has a different smell and I love that smell. It smells of freshness and it's cleansing. I also over spent my budget by like a lot this weekend. I have a hard time saying no to going out with my friends since I don't get to see them or go out that often. We always seem to have such a good time together and I don't care at the time that I'm spending money. It's that next day feeling, like you just woke up next to someone that you slept with and realized either 1) why the hell did I sleep with him or 2) that was the worst sex I've ever had, that brings me back to the realization that I am in fact poor. I'm far from frugal, I love expensive things, I love having the best, and I really love having new things. It's so random too, I was raised by a single mom and we definitely did not have a lot of money when I was growing up so I have no idea where this love/need came from. I'm the trailer park princess born with a wooden spoon in her mouth that tasted like silver.
I have a trip that I am taking on Thursday that I'm a little nervous about. It's that girly, intense nervousness though. It's been awhile since I've felt that, I tend to like to think I don't feel the waves of "girly" emotion. I hate it when I do it too because it all burst out like water out of a broken pipe and I keep thinking to myself, I hate it when girls act like this but I can't seem to help it. Society in general tends to view emotion as a weakness and I don't know why I buy so much into it but it's definitely exemplified in my parents. But, that's a psych issue that I will explore on some other day.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment