I have no idea if I'm trying to distract myself from my test or if the paranoia is actually justified. I have to get this down though, I have to get it out of me or else I will concentrate on nothing but this.
In this weird, twisted, "relationship" I've been having, there is only one factor that I was never quite sure about. I know he loves me and I know I love him but it was always her that I was unaware of. I know that you're family oriented, and that she would complete that but how can you throw away what we could have just to get back with someone that treated you the way she did? Now though a lot of signs are pointing to the fact that she is back in your life. A crazy part of me even thinks that she moved back in with you. It would make sense though. Moving wouldn't be a problem, you wouldn't waste gas taking the kids back and forth, and you would finally have that family that you always wanted.
What about me? If she's in then we all know I'm out. Now I'm feeling stupid, like I allowed myself to fall in love with you knowing that I could never be a part of your life. What the hell is going on?
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