Crisis of Faith

What am I doing? Seriously, what the fuck am I doing? Maybe I'm not cut out to do the lawyer thing, maybe I'm suppose to do something else. My life doesn't make sense. If I'm not suppose to be a lawyer, what am I suppose to be doing with the rest of my life?

Am I suppose to be in love with who I'm in love with? Am I suppose to be friends with the people I'm friends with? Am I suppose to be living where I'm living? Seriously??? Maybe I'm suppose to be doing everything the opposite of what I've been doing.  

Ok instead of a lawyer I should be a criminal? Instead of Brian, I should be in love with a short, fat, guy I've known for 10 minutes? Instead of my friends I should be friends with people who don't care about me, take advantage of me, and are never there for me? Instead of living in Minnesota I should live in Mississippi? I doesn't get more opposite than that. 

I don't know anymore. I don't know what's right for me. I don't know if I'm doing what I'm suppose to be doing. I don't know if everything I ever thought was right, everything that I've planned my life for , everything that feels familiar is actually wrong. Then what am I suppose to be doing? What am I killing myself for? Where is my life going? 

I'm so lost, I'm so confused. Two weeks until a test that I don't know if I can do well on and that may or may not determine where I'm going.