I just called the cops on the neighbors downstairs. Why? Because their music was so fucking loud I could not hear myself think. When I first looked at apartments my one question to every single company was "is it quiet?" Those of you who have lived with me know that I hate noise that I'm not creating. I know I should get use to it because you can't always control your surroundings but I swear I hate people who have no respect for those around them. I have no desire to listen to your music just like I'm sure you have no desire to listen to mine.
I keep thinking that I'm not going to be any good at the lawyer thing. I like that classes that I'm taking for the most part so far it's been not too bad wrapping my head around the concepts. I just keep trying to imagine myself in this role or that role, trying to counsel people about the law and I don't think I can do it. I don't know if I'm intentionally setting myself up to fail or not.
It is really lonely here. I literally spent the last three days locked in apartment. I didn't venture out once, nor did I really have a reason to. I hate that! When I was in Mpls if I was home by myself I knew that I had the option to call someone if I wanted to. I had control over the loneliness when I was there, here there is no controlling it, I'm lonely, period, end of story.
There is no feedback in law school. I have no idea if I'm doing things right or not. I could be completely stupid and I would never know until the finals. If I fail the finals then I can kiss the future I want for myself good bye.
I feel like I'm self sabotaging. I have plenty of motivation to do well but I'm not doing anything. What is wrong with me? How am I going to fix this?
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