I miss Minnesota. Like really badly. Worse than I ever thought I would. I miss the people and I miss the familiarity but I don't really miss my jobs there. I mean I loved most of the people I worked with but I know I'm better off now than working in jobs that were not satisfying to me. Perhaps this means I chose the right course of action by going to law school.
I haven't even had a full week of class and I'm already questioning whether or not I'm going to be good at this. I have to read things like 2-3 times before it even sinks in. It takes so long for me to do any of the assignments. I give myself like 1 1/2 and it takes me 3 hours!!!
How am I going to be able to work and keep up with school at the same time. The most down time I have in a day is 2 maybe 3 hours other than that I'm in class, in the library or in bed. Where is this balance going to come from? I feel like I'm already behind, there's not enough hours in the day. I would cut out sleep but my brain already feels like mush after studying for 8 hours I can't jam back anything else in there without losing my sanity.
I don't know about the making friends thing either. I mean the people I've met so far are nice but I feel like I'm either intentionally or unintentionally isolating myself from everyone else by sticking my nose in a book for 9 hours a day. Living alone is lonely and I feel like everyone else her either has a boyfriend or is married. Did I somehow miss that train? Did it pull into the station, take one look at me, and run screaming down the track get me the hell out of here!!!???
My neighbors downstairs are so annoying. Who plays their music super loud and bassy at 1:30 in the morning on a Monday and Sunday night?
Should I continue to park at the Wharton Center? That walk at 11:00 is very scary and very dark. But if I move to the Commuter Lot that walk is just as scary and I don't think it's as well lit as the other walk.
What if I fail? I mean I've had to modify this dream so many times and I am sick of it. Cant it just work out? Isn't there some kind of guarantee by now? Change your dreams x amount of times and your current path is free of road blocks?
Can I take an exam with a dog snoring during it if I can barely handle distractions in the library or at home? Are my expectations too high? Is that my ultimate problem? Do I expect so much out of the people around me that I begin to repeal them?
No comments:
Post a Comment