Letting off steam

I hate being micro managed. When I took this job I was assured that I would never be micro managed. Well when you promote someone who only wants to kiss the bosses ass as the head paralegal then I end up being micro managed. Please just don't acknowledge the fact that I know what I'm doing and I do it quite well, just continue to push these asinine rules on me for the sake of the "team." Just Fuck Off!!

On a different note, I do feel a lot less dreary lately. I've still got quite the distance to go but I'm trying to tackle a few big things going on in my life. One was finally letting Brian go. As much as I hated to lose that fight especially to someone I consider such a fucking moron, it had to be done. When someone strips you of all the weapons you have to fight with you pretty much know it's time to throw in the towel. When someone hurts you, undermines you, and breaks your trust it's generally time to give them the heave ho. A part of me wants things to go down in horrible flames for him, to learn what a good thing he had in me, alas the adult part, the part that loves him even still (I'm an idiot, but I'm still in the beginning stages of grieving, just give me time), wishes for him to have a good life, for him to get everything he's ever dreamed of.

I'm finally starting to slack off less at my job. Yes to those of you who are brilliant enough to figure it out, I am typing this at work, but I do spend a lot less time on the Internet now than I use to. I was given a few more cases to handle but we'll see how long my interest is piqued. I still dream about finding a new job in New York, Washington D.C., Denver, London or even Paris but unless God grants me a fantastic miracle of a modest yet adequate monetary increase in capital, it's not happening. I realize the more I work here the more I realize how much smarter I am than this job (it doesn't help that someone has turned me on to IQ testing and I'm obsessed with them).

Tonight I'm going to try and clean my house because it is currently a major pigsty When I tune out, I really tune out and do nothing. Although I just remembered it's the opening ceremonies for the Olympics tonight, so I may be a bit distracted. Either way, I have the motivation to do it.

I'm not sure what to do about the future yet. I turn 26 on August 17th and that is scaring the hell out of me. I don't know why, my age has never been an issue for me but 30 is looming fast and I have no idea what life has in store for me. I do think I'm going to start writing personal statements though. A good friend of mine made a really good point that finally hit home, "you can be a really big fish in a small pond." I think starting at a smaller law school may not be that bad. I can always put my all into it, do really well the first year and possibly transfer to a bigger school. I've had this dream too long to start giving up on it now. It's time to push forward and prove to myself that I can make my dreams come true :)