Seriously Emotional

Ok, honestly sorry to those of you who actually check this thing have been disappointed by the lack of content.

I've been poked, prodded and scanned within the last few months just to find out that I have depression, migraines, and a sleeping disorder. Wow! It's been a roller coaster but at least now I've changed my attitude from being a complete bitch to just a little bitchy once and a while. Whatever, I hope it last for a while because I think I'm a better person when I'm not so angry all the time that I want to kill everyone.

My uncle is dying. Of drinking. Too much. Scary enough in it's self but add to that his age, 47, his 16 year old daughter, and the fact that alcoholism runs rampant on both side of my family and I'm ready to give up drinking for the rest of my life. For those of you who know the Vegas story (which will never be repeated in a public forum such as this) you know that I made a conscience decision not to get ripe roaring plastered after that. I've been pretty good about with just a couple of lapses but now the smell of booze absolutely makes me sick to my stomach. I don't know how to feel about it because I was never that particularly close to my uncle but I'm sad and I feel so helpless. It's hard to concentrate on day to day things when you're left to your own devices as much as I am I want to be here but I can't help but feel like I'm 1,000 miles away.

I swear stress or a big fiery car crash is going to kill me one day!